how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
