dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
