just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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