Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
