And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
oh god was she eating orange peels again
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
