break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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