Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
