If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
