Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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