Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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