This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
