32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
