How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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