If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
