there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
