Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
