areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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