I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
