I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
