We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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