Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
