I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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