I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
