so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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