areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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