i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Randomize
