i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was like getting head from an anaconda
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
How naked do you want me to be?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
