I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
