So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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