shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
