My hair reeks of homosexuality.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
