Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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