Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
