First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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