I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
