Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
