trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
