Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize