oh fat girl friday strikes again...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My legs feel like baby dolphins
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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