we're blogging at a bar
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
