Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
