We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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