who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
