I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
