Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
