I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
