i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
