Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
