No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
