i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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