He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
